Let me ask you some honest questions. Have you ever felt that you were too screwed up to be used by God? Do you feel you’ve crossed some invisible line that will disqualify you? Do you feel that you are unworthy to serve God, considering what is in your past? I have some great news for you. You are part of a very important club of people. You are part of the broken, downtrodden, unworthy individuals that God has chosen to represent Him. As part of this club myself, I want to welcome you as a member. There’s no secret handshake or motto to recite at meetings. We are just part of the broken crayons God uses to color in His message. Now I realize I am being a little humorous, but this message of God using broken people is very near and dear to my soul.
In my early years of middle school, I began to develop major anxiety issues. When I reached high school, I began to exhibit odd behaviors and poor decision-making that led to all kinds of problems. After one short year of college, my classcutting behaviors put me on academic suspension. Four months after the death of my mother, I experienced my first mental health crisis. Over the next 12 years, I would be misdiagnosed and overmedicated. It was in the midst of those 12 years that God called me into ministry. I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when God spoke to me. I knew it was Him because ministry was the last thing in the world I felt qualified to do. Growing up Baptist, I knew that if you felt God wanted you in ministry, you needed to finish college and then go to seminary to get your Masters. This is exactly what I had watched my older brother and my brother-in-law do. Here I was, just a guy with a high school diploma, unemployed for the umpteenth time. There was no way God wanted to use me, but I knew what was in my heart.
I’m not going to sugarcoat things and tell you that from that moment in time, God called me into the ministry; that my life did a 180, and it was all unicorns and rainbows. I continued to struggle with my mental health, unemployment, and people’s continuous criticism. Life has been hard. Sure, we have had some major mountaintop experiences, but we’ve endured some deep, dark valley moments. Yet through all of it, God was right there by our side. God used those years of struggle and pain. He gave us a heart for those who are hurting. I’ve always known there was nothing special about me, but I knew a God who could do anything! He graciously led me to so many Scriptures to guide me.
“ Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don’t see many of “the brightest and the best” among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these “nobodies” to expose the hollow pretensions of the “somebodies”? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God.”
- 1 Corinthians 1:26 – 29 (The Message)
“ I’m so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. The only credentials I brought to it were violence and witch hunts, and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn’t know what I was doing—didn’t know Who I was doing it against! Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus. Here’s a word you can take to heart and depend on: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I’m proof—Public Sinner Number One—of someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy.”
- 1 Timothy 1:12-17 (The Message)
Those words were written by the Apostle Paul, the writer of most of the New Testament in our Bibles. Many consider him their hero in the faith, yet he calls himself “Public Sinner Number One.” He was keenly aware of his shortcomings. He didn’t hide the fact that he used to hunt down followers of Jesus Christ to have them jailed, beaten, tortured, and killed. He held the coats of the men who stoned Stephen in Acts Chapter 7. He totally understood God’s grace. He understood that it is in personal weakness that God’s power is strongest.
“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
- 2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV
Despite these words, I know there are people reading this article right now who are saying, “But you don’t understand what I have done. There is no way that God could ever use me.” My friend, I respectfully disagree. Take a moment to look through your Bible at all the people God has used, and you will see just how flawed they were. Here are just a few:
Abraham – Lied about his wife being his sister to save himself … twice (Genesis 12:10-20, Genesis 20:1-20)
Isaac – Lied about his wife Rebekah being his sister to Abimelech, king of Gerar (Genesis 26:1-11)
Jacob – Deceived his father and brother, yet became the father of the 12 tribes of Israel (Genesis 27, Genesis 32:22-32)
Moses – Murdered an Egyptian, yet led the Israelites out of Egypt (Exodus 2:11-12, Exodus 3-14)
Gideon – Struggled with doubt and fear but led Israel to victory against the Midianites (Judges 6-8)
Samson – Broke his Nazirite vows and was imprisoned, but ultimately defeated the Philistines (Judges 13-16)
David – Committed adultery and murder but repented and became a man after God’s own heart (2 Samuel 11-12, Acts 13:22)
Elijah – Struggled with depression and fear yet accomplished great feats through God’s power (1 Kings 18-19)
Jeremiah – Known as the “weeping prophet,” he faced constant rejection and persecution but remained faithful to God’s call (Jeremiah 1-52)
Esther – An orphan and exile who became a queen, courageously saving her people from extermination (Esther 1-10)
Levi (Matthew) – A tax collector before becoming one of Jesus’ apostles (Matthew 9:9-13)
Mary Magdalene – Was possessed by seven demons before becoming a follower of Jesus (Luke 8:2, John 20:11-18)
Peter – Denied Jesus but later became a leader in the early church (Matthew 26:69-75, Acts 2:14-41)
Paul – Persecuted Christians before converting and becoming an apostle (Acts 9:1-19, Philippians 3:4-14)
People who have been forgiven a lot should be those who can give the most compassion. I can honestly tell you that I have been on the receiving end of a lot of compassion. After all the issues caused by my mental health episodes, I am so blessed to be headed into my 38th year of marriage to Jamie. I have great relationships with all of my children despite all the hurt they went through for so many years. Believe me when I tell you, I know grace and forgiveness. Someone once told me, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” That nugget of truth is so powerful. When you are lost deep in your hurt, you don’t want someone to say, “Hey, I read a book about what you are going through.” No, you want someone to come alongside you who knows exactly what you are going through because they have been through hard things themselves.
So, what do you feel is “disqualifying” you from being used by God? Maybe that is the exact area in which God wants to use you. What tragedy in your life has given you the experience to help others? Maybe that is what God wants to use to help bless others. God has brought you to the other side of your hurt and pain. He has used it to mold, shape, and teach you not only so you can experience grace and freedom in your life. He has done it so that you can use that same compassion shown to you to bless others with the same issues you’ve struggled with..
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”
- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (The Message)
